Goodbye!

Today is the day I say goodbye, you've been wonderful.
BUT It's not goodbye forever!

Out of Her Heart; my new website launches today! 

Today wouldn't be complete without a giveaway with NINE items (all INCREDIBLE!) for both men & women! 

Head over and look around, I think you'll be glad you did!
http://outofherheart.com/launch-giveaway/

Also, check out my new facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/OutOfHerHeart - to stay up to date with all the new content! 

(P.S. We are already have technical difficulties, but I am choosing to love this anyway!!! If you know how to fix the issues that you see - please let me know!)

Thank you for all the love the past three years, I hope I get to continue to interact with you at Out of Her Heart!

Yummy recipe, photos, and news.

Good Afternoon!

This week I made a delicious recipe that we made a bunch last year and it was a definite family favorite. The warm, creamy, peanuty sauce mixed with chicken, veggies, pasta, and cilantro... How can you go wrong? So, I decided to share it and I honestly have no idea where I found it... If this is your recipe - please let me know and I can give your website credit! :) One last little tid bit, I ALWAYS double this. If you don't it doesn't make much. Use a whole pound of pasta and double everything else! 

Thai chicken fettuccine

Ingredients

• 1 cup salsa (I use a mango or peach salsa - but spicier salsa kicks it up a notch!)
• 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
• 2 tablespoons orange juice
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1 teaspoon soy sauce
• 8 ounces uncooked fettuccine
• 3/4 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips (I only used one breast for a double recipe, we love meat but are cutting costs and cutting meat, I cut the pieces super small and it was still so filling and hearty!)
• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 1 medium sweet red pepper, julienned
• 1/2-1 sweet onion, diced (or cut super small so your kids don't know they are eating it!)
• 1/4 cup minced fresh cilantro

Directions

• For sauce, in a microwave-safe bowl, combine the first five ingredients. Cover and microwave on high for 1 minute; stir. Set aside.
• Cook fettuccine according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, cook chicken in oil over medium heat for 3-5 minutes or until chicken juices run clear. Add red pepper and onion; cook and stir until tender. 
• Drain fettuccine; top with chicken mixture and sauce. Stir together. Sprinkle with cilantro. Yield: 4 servings.

A few photos from the last week:

Siena, sitting near Eleanor's house. She loves to "smell" the flowers while actually blowing air out of her nose. But she's getting there :). 

She said, "I want to smell the flowers. Bye Mama!" So, I left and peeked around the corner to see what she was doing. Right after that photo she ran around the corner and burst into a million giggles. She loved having a moment "alone".

This is my daughter today. Doesn't she look so grown up?? I'm in love. 

This is at Mission Bay. A really fun spot to go when it's say 95 degrees at your house with no air conditioning. You can jump in the water in a much cooler temp of 85!

BIG NEWS! (Some of you already saw this on facebook) 

My blog is being redesigned. I've wanted to buy a domain for awhile so it is easier for people to get to my blog. I'm really excited about the look, purpose, and renewed vision! It will launch in about two and a half weeks and there will be a really fun giveaway with some of my favorite products and some great friends!

With all that said - I'm off to do a little clean up and a little reading. 

Have a wonderful day!

~Meg

We are

This week Chris and our pastor Jake went on campus to pray, meet up with some students, and plan the next few weeks. When they got back Jake asked how I was doing and I shared a few things going on in my life. Jake then piece by piece shared with me this diagram. 

He told me that all humans are interpreters of our circumstances and the things that are happening around us. We can either believe the truth about God and us (information that we learn from God's word) or we can believe lies about God and us (that the world, the devil, or that we tell ourselves). The middle part of the diagram shows that all humans are worshippers. If we believe the truth about God and us then we will worship and love God. But if we believe lies about God and us then we worship idols (fake God such as food, our bodies, alcohol, drugs, anything in life). We are also responders to what we interpret and worship. If we worship God then we will have godly behavior and godly emotions. If we worship false gods then we will have negative behavior and negative emotions. What he told me at the end was that circumstances don't determine Christians behavior and joy. Christ determines our behavior and our joy. What are we believing in each circumstance? 

I had a moment to learn directly about what I would believe this weekend on a drive back from the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Through Siena's infancy I struggled with having severe anxiety and anger when she would cry non stop. My child is a fighter. For the first year she would cry for an hour in the car without stopping. Add to the list sleep training, trying not to nap, and refusing to fall asleep at night - this little lady will cry a lot. What's funny is she is actually and always has been a great sleeper- we've just had to teach her, train her, and remind her who knows what's best for her. And that she needs sleep... Lots of it!

I think I've thought I'm over the whole anxious, angry attitude toward her. But what I was taught is that when I hear her cry it frustrates me that I can't control her or stop her from crying; even now. I now see this whole thing as Gods grace on my life. I realize now that I was believing lies about God and about us. That God wasn't good if he didn't stop her from crying. That God wasn't in control so I needed to be. That I couldn't have peace in all circumstances. That I didn't love Siena if she continued to cry. That I couldn't possibly be a loving mama to a crying baby. ALL LIES!

In the midst of her screaming today, I thought why am I getting so frustrated? What is the truth about God? He loves Siena, Chris, and I so much- even if Siena doesn't stop- his love wont fail me. Who is in control? God is! I'm not. Trying to control her in my anxious state while saying a million short prayers hoping she'll sleep.. Won't stop her from crying. God may want to teach me something through her unending crying.

These are some things I think I am really learning today:
1. Circumstance doesn't dictate my joy.
2. God is in control.
3. Anger and anxiety are both bad gods/idolas. They won't satisfy me. But Jesus will.


God has been teaching me so much about my relationship with him through my relationship with Siena lately. I have to be taught, trained, and reminded by him constantly; just as Siena has to be taught, trained, and reminded by us. This in turn has given me more patience and grace with her and more patience and grace when I sin as well.

I decided in the midst of her crying that I wouldn't choose to believe lies if she continued to cry. Instead I said, I will praise you Jesus either way. This time, he blessed me by having her stop, which also enabled me to write this post on my iPhone.

Will you fight along with me to believe the truth about God and us? Truth that the bible teaches? I hope you will and I'm excited to worship him with you and stand in awe as our actions look more and more like his because of him!

What are you doing?

Who will say to him,

"What are you doing?"

Job 8:12

We moved to San Diego almost five months ago. The Lord has been so gracious in teaching us abundantly about himself, our family, and our sin among so many other things during this short amount of time. He has provided a home in the location and price range we needed, reliable community who loves us already, and money to eat, pay our bills, and have a little fun. 

After two miscarriages in a span of six months we were asking God for direction, because like Proverbs says, we have many plans but ultimately he directs our steps. After seeing our friends practically live out the call to take care of orphans our hearts were softened and we discussed what it would look like for our family to do it as well. Through the second miscarriage and reading an incredible book, Adopted for Life, I now see every child as God's not mine. Biological, adopted, foster. These are all terms we put on a life, and a term that doesn't belong. They are a child - not a label. They are given to you by God to steward - no matter if you had a part in actually creating their body or not. This was so sweet to me and led Chris and I to talk more about practically starting the Foster/Adoption process and to also allow for others to speak into our lives about this certain area.

After having conversations with a few close couples and discussing what it would look like for us, Chris and I decided to start the process and attended the orientation. At that time we both knew that it was the way that God was telling us to go and felt very sure of the whole process. We signed all the initial paperwork, signed up for six weeks of classes, and had our finger prints done. A week later we had more paperwork in our mailbox, phone calls with a social worker, and a meeting for an initial home inspection two weeks later. 

During a conversation with a friend I had a quick and sobering realization. Siena would be two in October and so because of a law that requires two year olds to have a room away from parents... the process had to cease. For now. 

We don't have a big enough home. Job laid out the fact that we can't question what God's doing. So I am not going to. God can get us out of this house, find a family to take over our lease, find us a new home, give Siena a bigger room with a crib that is big enough for her, and find us a new place to live. Along with this process, we have also been brought to the place of allowing ourselves to get pregnant again. Our idols of control, comfort, and money have been broken down. We won't stop God's plan because we are scared of what it can bring. 

Obviously my one year old doesn't know my heart or what's going on behind the scenes of book reading, coloring, and playing with her blocks. But this conversation that we just had in the midst of writing this post shows me that God is sweet enough to give her to me and love me well through her words. 

S: Brother,
M: Brother? (Did I hear her correctly?)
M: Do you want a brother?
S: I want a baby.
M: I want a baby too.
S: I want a baby brother.

I have never talked to her about having a brother. But I want her to have one too.

Everything is possible with God. 

I'm not going to doubt it.

Are you?

Yesterday

Yesterday we drove twenty minutes away.

Yesterday we parked the car when we arrived and walked to the elevator to get to floor five.

Yesterday we got off the elevator to view a waiting area full of tear filled people waiting in anticipation.

Yesterday we heard what had happened to a man we had never met but whose family and friends held so dear. 

Yesterday we prayed with them for healing; physical and spiritual. 

Yesterday we met his wife, daughter, son, friends. 

Yesterday we stood in his hospital room.

Yesterday we were very aware of his presence but he was not aware of ours. 

Yesterday we prayed over him.

Yesterday we watched as the nurses had the family come into a room and hear the new report.

Yesterday we heard sobs coming from the room as the staff left.

Yesterday we saw the faces of people in hysterics who are left with news that is unbearable. 

Yesterday we left the hospital completely shook up.

Yesterday we wished to have known this wonderful man before this day.

Yesterday we sat in sober silence.

Yesterday we were given a new understanding of the gospel.

Yesterday we realized that Jesus is our only solid rock to stand on.

Yesterday we remembered that without Jesus - our life is literally sinking in sand.

Yesterday I thought about all who do not trust Christ whose lives are in sinking sand.

Yesterday I about the things you hold so close - wealth, power, status, appearance. 

Yesterday I wanted to tell you to run to Jesus who wants to give you peace on the solid rock.

Yesterday.

{Your life is literally in one of two places. On a solid rock. Or in sinking sand. Do you realize you have no control over your life? We don't control our next breath let alone the next hour or day. Yesterday was a hard and sober day. But it was also so good, realizing that Jesus has complete control over life; new life born and also death. When we trust in Him - there is NO fear in death because he has already conquered death when he died on the cross. If you have any questions about the enirety of Jesus' good news, please email me @ meganaliciaknight @ gmail . com}

Tortillas & Siena Video

Yesterday I posted this picture on Instagram. 

3 ingredient tortillas! 

I got a few responses on Facebook about how they turned out. 

Drum roll.....

They are delicious! 

The recipe can be found here.

I will say a couple of things about the process:

-I was very frustrated with the first couple of tortillas - they didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. All I have to say about this is don't give up! You will learn as you go how to mold, shape, and cook these buggers and they will turn out great!

- Use your hands in the process to smooth it out into a circle. I tried at first to solely use the rolling pin but this didn't produce the shape that I wanted. If you use your palm to smash (gently... I know this sounds weird) it into a circle and then slowly use your hand to work it larger - then use the rolling pin - this seemed to work much better for me. 

-I finally got large circular tortillas but I use the WRONG pan. Next time I will use my normal frying pan or my griddle. The pan I used had a larger rim and it was impossible to lay down the thin piece of dough without it getting a tad misshaped because I didn't want to burn myself on the rim of the pan.

-They taste really delicious. Next time I make them I am using whole wheat flour. This time I only had whole wheat pastry flour in the cupboard and I still don't understand how to use this in a normal recipe... If you do - please tell me!

-One last thing about this - I love the website 100 Days of Real Food. She is absolutely amazing. I am using so many of her recipes now (like whole wheat banana pancakes - SO good!) and her tips and tricks. We are trying to eat more real food around here - so this is a start!

If I only got you here for a Siena video :) here it is!

Can't Forget

Walking in the door after a wonderful evening with many sweet friends celebrating a soon to be Mrs, I was welcomed inside by my handsome husband. We exchanged a couple little details about the night and then he told me that Siena had been laid down an hour before and was still not asleep. When he laid her in her crib he told her that Mama would come in and see her when she got home.

So, like all mamas who don't just barge into their child's room (not wanting to wake them up!) I first took a peek on the monitor. The adorable little munchkin was on her back playing peek-a-boo with her little pillow. So, of course I went in.

I picked up that sleepy, heavier than normal, warm little body and went straight to the rocking chair. Those moments that followed were timeless, come without any notice and are so so sweet. She lay on my body so limp yet so excited to be holding her mama. We started our time together by chatting about the night. I would ask a question and she answered with her sweet little words that I wish so badly I had taped.

"Did you have fun with Daddy?"
"Yeahhh."

"Who did you play with?"
"Ezra and Jake."

"Was Lily there too?"
"Yeahhh."

"What did you eat for dinner?"
"Blueberries." (Not what she ate! :)

I couldn't stop rubbing her back and playing with her soft little curls. It was like I was trapped inside a moment that I knew wouldn't last. I knew she had to go to bed but I wanted to stay there for hours. We switched over to mama and daddy's bed and cuddled. Out of nowhere she tickled me. I tickled back. We laughed and smiled and her little face lit up as we communicated like we never have before.

You see, each new time I get a surprise moment like this - she's grown.
She's grown past the crying all night newborn.
She's grown past the bouncing, sshhing, rocking.
She's grown past the needing everything from mama.

The crazy part, she won't be like this for long.
I want to treasure where that little girl is at in each moment.

I can't forget this blessing that God gave me tonight, in snuggling my one year old who soon won't be one. Who loved laying with her mama, snuggling, tickling, talking.

What a gift these twenty minutes were.

Spic and Span

If I said our house was always clean and everything was always put away that would be a lie. But I do like to keep it clean most of the time. Chris likes things organized, decluttered, and minimal. I try to love him well and keep our house that way.

It doesn't always work.

When we lived with our friends who are more like family, we started a cleaning check off list. This was my friend Lexi's idea - which was a great one! We used it for all areas of the house and did it all in one day during the week. When we moved here I had a much smaller space to care for and wasn't sure how I wanted to do it. I realized a few weeks in that I was slacking, nothing was clean, and everything was still in chaos.

I decided to scour pinterest for some cleaning check list ideas. They may suit you, but they didn't work well for me. I tried for two weeks using a method where you did upkeep in the morning and night (that part I like) and then one chore a day. After two weeks of this I realized that I felt like I never stopped cleaning and never got a break. It is supposed to make you feel like you aren't spending hours cleaning. But it made me feel like I could never let go of the spray bottle and wash cloth.

Finally I decided to go back to the once a week method. I really like this WAY better. I do vacuum the night before because this enables me to get right to cleaning when Siena lays her head on the pillow the next afternoon. And of course, I always have to give myself grace because like yesterday there will be days when not all of it gets done and I'll finish it today.

But then the great part comes and from Wednesday - Saturday I don't clean at all! I pick up toys and put away clothes but the deep cleaning is all done for our home.

Here is the list that I use

Cleaning

Just another note: I do laundry on a need to do basis. It just doesn't work for me to do it once a week. I also stick this printed sheet inside a sheet protector and hang it on our fridge. Then just use a dry erase marker to check off what you've accomplished!


If you want the word document to change a few things and use it for your home, just let me know!
~Megan

Lets be practical.

Hey there!

Hope you are enjoying your Sunday :).
We had a great weekend full of a birthday party, the fair, church, and a baby shower!
Hopefully a restful day tomorrow!

In my last post, exercise for the glory of God, we talked about how training our bodies is a smaller example of training ourselves to become like Christ. I need more organization in life when it comes to exercise and more planning to make it happen. This is why I started talking about this but I will continue talking about it because I love how God desires our bodies to be healthy to be able to do what he calls us to. So, this is not to lose a ton of weight, fit in smaller clothes, or just feel better about ourselves because we look more attractive to the world. It's to become more disciplined in exercise and then think about how discipline not only brings results in our earthly bodies but discipline can also help us become more like Christ.

I don't have money in the budget for a gym membership. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But we all have a living space or somewhere outside that we can get moving - for FREE!

Cardio:
-Walk
-Jog
-Sprint
-Bike

These are great options for cardio, to get our blood pumping and our bodies moving! I will always choose jogging for a few reasons. Walking takes longer and I can be impatient... I'm not a sprinter because well - I just haven't tried it. I don't have a bike :) so that explains itself. But, whatever you choose - choose one! Or two and get out and start moving!

Now here is what is new for my workouts... Strength training! I did a post before on my nap time workout. I have found a few others that have worked really well for me on Pinterest (I have my friend Shelby to thank for most of these!) that take such a short time that anyone can fit it in. But the part of this that I really love is that I don't need to own weights to do this! I can just do one repetition if I have a short time, or do it twice, or even three times for a longer and more effective work out.

Source: theeverydaywarrior.com via Megan on Pinterest

Source: itsfitnessbaby.com via Megan on Pinterest

Source: toneitup.com via Megan on Pinterest

All three of these are so great! They get you moving but also bring in exercises so that many muscle groups are worked. They also leave you sore!

Everyone is going to be different as we are all starting in a different place -
But, this is about planning and becoming disciplined in exercise.

SO- Make a plan!

Here is mine:
Monday - Strength training workout
Tuesday - Run
Wednesday - Strength training workout
Thursday - Run
Friday - Day off
Saturday - Run
Sunday - Strength training workout (or if I am too busy, another day off)

Hope this practically gets you thinking about how to fit exercise into your busy life!
~Meg

Exercise for the Glory of God

1Timothy 4:7-8 says,

"Rather train yourself for godliness, for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." 

&

1Corinthians 9:24-25

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable."

I love this. I love that working out, self control with exercise, and discipline are all worldly examples of straining toward a higher goal. The higher goal of godliness or becoming like Jesus. 

So, how do we become like Jesus?

Through constant conversation with him (prayer), reading His word (the bible), and living in constant fellowship (life) with people who love him too while on mission to spread the good news of Jesus everywhere. We can't become like him without a self controlled life that leads us into a devoted discipline of getting to know him.

In that same way, we cannot be healthy without a self controlled life that leads us into a discipline of working our body toward a higher goal. This isn't about losing weight, being a skinnier you (or whatever all those internet sites tell you), or dieting. It is about viewing our discipline of working out as a smaller example of our discipline to becoming like Christ. 

We really can't do either of these things without reliance on the Holy Spirit. Of course we can work our bodies out in a frenzy for any of the things that I mentioned this is not about.  When it's not about Jesus our reasoning for exercising goes chaotically astray. But, if we do rely on Him - I believe that this can be for our good and His glory! We can be healthier, prolonging the bodies longevity, and have more energy to do what he has called us to. 

We are all here at a different place. 

You could be

-Already relying on the Holy Spirit for a disciplined life of exercise

-Like me in occasionally exercising but feeling that you need to be more disciplined and regular

-Exercising rarely and feeling lethargic and exhausted most of the day

-Not exercising at all and feeling like it is a far away and lofty goal that can't be attained

No matter where you are at, I know that God desires you to be healthy, energetic, and answering His call to have the gospel proclaimed through your life.

Today was about the theology behind exercising for the glory of God.
In the next few days I'll show you how I intend to practically live this out.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!
~Meg

Getting organized.

Are you an organized person?
If you said no, do you want to be?

I wouldn't call myself a Martha Stewart, everything has the right bin that's labeled or a Tsh Oxenreider - Simple Mom who has the wonderful capability of only owning what she uses on a regular basis.

I'm just not there yet.
But I want to be.

 Sure, I've struggled with finding the balance between not caring at all and caring too much. But as the Holy Spirit moves me to become more reliant on him in all my roles as Daughter of God, Wife, Mama, Friend, Servant - I've found I'm beginning to see how I can care for my family well by planning without going OCD on every little area.

A few areas I'm trying to be more organized in are:
- Working Out
- Cleaning
- Meal planning/buying/preparation
- Siena activities
 - BE (a little acronym introcduced to us by our pastor this week, B is for Bles s and E is for eat)

 Over the next few weeks I'm going to share with you what I've accomplished and see if anyone wants to join me in a few activities :).

 So, this isn't about getting our homes completely organized and put away - although that's always a goal of mine. It's more about being organized mentally in areas of life that can easily bog you down. 

What are a few areas you would like organized?

ER Visit #3

This week I read this quote out of a book that my gospel group is reading called Fight Clubs.

Expect unexpected change in your day and remember that it's Holy Spirit directed.
{At least that is my paraphrase...}




Sunday night I sat on my bed after putting Siena in her crib and started to make a list of things on my phone that would bring me rest and rejuvenation if I did them the next day. We had an amazing weekend full of parties, celebrating really amazing friends, and fellowship with lots of families in our church. I was exhausted by the end of it as it was two days of 30 minute naps for Siena and really no time to get anything done around the house - but was incredibly uplifting and fun!

This was my list that I made:
-Workout: Run with Siena or family run
-Bathe Mama and SJ
-Plan meals and prep during nap
-Time with Jesus at 6:45
-Get some work done in bedroom (we just got a new desk; which I am so happy about!!)

Monday morning I woke up at 6:45 with Chris. He left to go meet some friends at the gym and I sat reading/praying in bed. All of my list was washed away when my husband stumbled into the bedroom a half an hour later when he should have been gone at least an hour. I asked him what happened as I could see that he was covered in sweat and was really pale - a look that I had only seen on him one time prior and that was disastrous. He told me he fell and that I needed to look at his leg.

I started to look at them and found a 7cm by 7cm gash on the back of his left thigh. I told him to lay down and that we had to go to the Emergency Room right away. To that he preceded to say, "It can't just heal on it's own??" I told him no... you aren't looking at what I am. He sat there looking like he was going to pass out from the pain/ his body was going into shock.

There is so much more of this story that I could type. But the thing that the Lord is teaching me this week is that I need to be ready. Ready at any moment for him to change my plan, my day, my moment.

I thought that Monday was going to be this relaxing stay at home kind of a day. It turned into 6 and a half hours in the ER while my sweet husband lay on a hospital bed on his stomach. I got one thing checked off that day that was on my list. Getting up with Jesus and spending time with Him first so that my thoughts, motives, actions were in line with his. I am so thankful that I was prompted to do this.

The hospital is probably my least favorite place in the world. But in the last seven months we've been there three times and Jesus has taught us so much each time were there.

We are helpless when we're there. We are at the mercy of a God who loves us but sometimes has a different plan than our own. We have had some of the most strengthening conversations, laughable moments, and been bonded in our marriage because of this trial.

And I am thankful for this ER Visit #3.

Disney, you never disappoint.

We had the most relaxing three days. I am so thankful that we were able to go up and visit Chris' grandma at his wonderful aunt's house!

The trip started on Tuesday at 1pm (no, Siena hadn't napped yet :) we were hoping she would in the car - but she didn't). I was given a  huge gift from my husband that day. Usually Siena says Mama about 1,000 times while we are in the car. She may want a toy, a snack, a chance to say something sweet or the opportunity to whine. I was quite tired though and started to rest with my eyes closed. Chris told Siena that I was napping and for the hour ride I got to have my eyes closed while Chris talked with Siena. It was a HUGE gift and started the getaway off really restfully.

Below is a few pictures from our morning at Disneyland with Siena. We stayed for about two and a half hours with her and went on a few rides and walked around. She loves it! She was dressed as Tinkerbell :).

Around 11:30 we drove back to Chris' aunt's house and put her down for a nap and grabbed some lunch. His wonderful grandma and aunt then watched Siena the rest of the day so that we could have our first Disneyland trip without Siena! Right before we took Siena home we tried to get a picture of her with Mickey but the line closed as soon as we came up. A picture of her mama and dada with Mickey is as good to her! To love my husband well I said ok to going on a few rides that I really don't like. Before we got to one of them I asked him what would happen if it broke down. You will see on the bottom left that we then chose not to ride the ride. As we walked there we saw a car of people stuck before a massive drop off. They all had to walk down. No. Thank you. We had a seriously fabulous time going on rides (together), walking around, eating, and watching a few shows. Thank you Ellen and Grandma!

The next day we stayed and hung by the pool. They have a fabulous backyard with gorgeous flowers, palm trees, a swing for Siena, and a huge pool with a hot tub built in. It feels like a personal resort. Siena also spent a lot of time drawing on an exchascetch lying on her belly and playing with family.

Yesterday we had our sweet friend Eleanor's 1st birthday party! It was put together so nicely by her mom Megan! Siena absolutely loves Eleanor and Megan (maybe Megan a little more, Hold Megan? Is the question constantly asked!).

 Eleanor received a lot of very lovely presents and Siena helped open them. :)

We had a wonderful week and ended it last night with our first ever Salsa dancing lesson with friends. I didn't really want to go... and then I LOVED it. We will probably be going back!

I hope you have a wonderful Sunday enjoying God, his people, and his creation!

~Meg

Walt, I'll see you tomorrow!

Yes, my family of 3 will be visiting with Walt Disney's statue again tomorrow. Chris' grandma will be in town in LA, so we are visiting and getting in a little Disney for SJ.

Did I just say for SJ?
Just joking.

Chris and I love Disneyland more than any child. We walk in there excited for the fake happiness of every worker, the yummy corn dogs and ice cream piled high in a waffle cone, and to get the thrill of going on one more ride.

I'm going to instagram my way through our day and post them when we get back!
See you in a few days!
-Meg

I'm here with a new look.

Hey there,

I've been gone for over a month. I'd say probably to do some healing, talking, interaction face to face with people closest to me. I don't want to stop blogging. But I think I needed a break. 

Those words in that frame? It is not about you. Those are sweet words to me. Meditating on them help me to remember who my life is really about. It's about Christ and his purposes; not my plans. 

Thank goodness. 

I'm excited to change up my blog and go to a simpler view. I'm thinking it will help me remember to focus on why I write here. To share my life with others, to share Jesus' love for them, and to remember what we did in times past.

Here's to a fresh start!

Cheers!
Meg

Bold in my soul

Two weeks ago, I wrote a post about the forecast. How our forecast was looking bright, both weather wise and just in the blessing that the Lord was giving us. It was a slight hint to you on a bigger change in our forecast.

It now included a baby. A new baby.

The next two weeks led me down a road of dealing with a lot of undealt with emotions. You see, I held some guilt for our last miscarriage - which I'm open to talking about; it is just a whole other story. Christ was showing me that it wasn't my fault, that I didn't need to walk around feeling like it was, and that this prior experience didn't need to cloud my emotion and excitement for this new baby.

It took some time, some talking, and some tears to get there.
But I got there. I got to the place of feeling excited for this new child, ready to be pregnant, and welcome into the world another little bundle of joy.

Chris was going away for the weekend on an excursion with some great college guys with the intention of hearing from the word and seeking the Spirit. He left at dinnertime on my birthday (don't worry - I agreed to it!) and Siena and I had Thai dinner with some friends and a relaxing evening.

Saturday we were going to the zoo with two great friends and two great babies. Early that morning we sprinted to the Farmer's Market to grab some veggies and bread - to get back just in time to leave to the zoo. But I got home and very quickly found out that I was having some bleeding. I know the statistics and I know there is sometimes bleeding in pregnancy - but I have some blood issues and for my specific situation this was not good.

I went through Saturday, hanging with my two great friends at home - being encouraged by and prayed for - wanting the bleeding to stop so that my baby would be saved. Chris came home that evening and during my time alone in our bed I could only find my strength in the Lord through the Psalms. I have found that through each larger trial the only words that fit are those great Psalms. I was reading Psalm 139, one that sweetly describes how he creates us and knows us so intimately. I then went on to read the previous Psalm and found this,

"On the day I called, you answered me;
you made me bold in my soul with strength." 

By Sunday evening the bleeding still had not subsided. After a second call to the ER - they decided that it was best for me to come in. So, after five and a half hours at the ER, an IV, exams, ultrasounds, shots - you name it we did it - we found out that I had already miscarried/ was miscarrying the baby.

God is so good. This process has been hard. But he is so, so good.
Yesterday morning Chris and I sat on the couch and praised God through worship music.
I bawled and bawled.
I wanted this baby so badly but I was beginning to see that God's plan was different than mine.

Sitting in the hospital bed last night I had a lot of time to glance through the word to find passages on suffering and trials. These are a few that spoke greatly to me.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:11-13


"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." 1Peter 4:12-13


Yes, I am sad. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan. I was reminded yesterday through 1Peter 2:9 that my purpose given by God is to proclaim his excellencies as he has called me out of darkness and into light.

Last night we received some bad news.
But what a hopeful story as we know some great news!

Christ understands our pain, our trial, our suffering.
He had greater pain than we will ever feel, more intense trial, and greater suffering.
He held the weight of our sin on the cross when he died for us.
He did that so we could be reconciled to our perfect Creator.

The God who loves me enough to die for me, loves me so greatly in the midst of losing this baby. And he loves you SO greatly in the midst of your pain, your loss, and even your success.

All I pray through this trial is that people would hear the excellencies of Christ.

The Forecast is

sunny and 70-80 all week.
telling me we will have more of Siena Joy singing out her little songs.
making me excited to live in SD.
bright.

I'm looking forward to the week,  to seeing our missional community tonight, to date night tomorrow, to LA on Saturday, to our gathering on Sunday.

How is your forecast?


Remember that the weather doesn't really matter... I grew up in Seattle/I know what it is like to have endless rain. A forecast means talking about the next events.
So what are you looking forward to?
What is your forecast?

18 months!

Jesus,

I am so thankful for my precious blessing of a baby girl. Although she is not termed a baby anymore but toddler, I will continue to call her my baby for probably the next 50 years. Thank you for her hilarious attitude where she cracks up laughing at me in the front seat of the car when all I do is smile. Thank you that she loves people and says hi to any person at random wherever we are - I think it makes people feel special that such a beautiful baby would say hi to them. Thank you that you are building such a sweet bond between the two of us (I especially love that she now hugs my legs at certain moments of the day as it is such a sweet part of motherhood) and that you are bonding her with her daddy. As he sings her butterfly kisses before bed she asks up dada and is whisked from my arms and into her loving daddy's embrace. Thank you that you have blessed us with a wonderful year and a half with rough and hard moments in between - you got us through. Psalm 5 says that you give ear to our words and I have found that is so true in parenting this little girl. Thank you for changing me. Thank you that I am not the mama I was 17 months ago, 12 months ago, 6 months ago. Thank you for teaching me how to love this rambunctious little girl who loves her kitty named Susy, her lambie named Bob, oatmeal with blueberries (or raisins if she is lucky and happens to be with Grammie), Curious George, reading so many books, eating frozen peas, going swimmy swim in the California sun, face timing with family, days at the park and so much else. This little girl I have been blessed with is a lover of so much and we love her so much.

For your glory Jesus,

Siena Joy is a year old

(Actually that was 6 months ago tomorrow...)

I figured at some point I should actually post these. So, I finally edited them and here they are!

I  made this S for the front door - it is now hanging in her room! 

Her cake was pink and tiny - our theme was the tiny girl is turning one! 

Name blocks that my Grandma Janet bought for Siena before she was born. 

The kids painted tiny houses as an activity at the birthday party. 

Our favor was a tiny bag full of tiny cookies! 

I also made tiny birthday hats for the kids to wear. 

Here is my sweet mama! 

We had a photo booth set up in my in-laws huge pantry! 

Some of the props! 

Family photo! 

My first time baking and decorating a cake and mini cupcakes! 

I love this picture!

Sweet Mags. 

We danced. 

Chris dressed up as an Amish woman in shades. 

Grandma M! 

I absolutely love this picture.

The three brothers. 

Daddy praying for his baby girl. 

What do I do with this? 

Oh, this is good! 

Real good. 

Hey, mom. Do you want some?

Here are some pictures on her actual birthday!

**Sorry for the picture overload AGAIN!