Thursday, June 2, 2011

Control the amount of sleep your daughter gets.
Control the way your body looks.
Control the sound of your husband's activity.
Control the people around you so you stay happy.
Control the food that goes in your mouth.
Control the friends that you've been blessed with.
Control the ministry that is a gift.
Control the blog that you've started.
Control the relationship you have with the Lord.
Control the amount of anger you feel.
Control the way people look at you.
Control the cleanliness of your house.
Control the _______________.

The lovely golden idol I have crafted is beautiful on the outside. My daughter gets good sleep. My body is healthy. My ministry is thriving. My emotions are contained. My marriage is normal. My relationships are good.

The deceitful, shiny, fake God that I have created is not beautiful.
This is the truth.

I desire to control everything.
I try my best to control everything.
I manipulate others to get my way.

and when I don't -
all chaos brakes lose.
anxiety comes crashing down on me in an instant like a ton of bricks.
i cry.
my family is mistreated.
my friends are neglected.
my husband is torn in bits.
i'm exhausted by the constant juggling of the 1,000 things.
my joy cannot be found within this sparkly idol of control.

So I cry out to Him who is my JOY.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all the day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,"
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Therefore let everyone who is godly offer
prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like the horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy , all you upright in heart.
Psalm 32

Praise the Lord!



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Oh, Megan! I just sat here and sobbed my eyes out while reading this post. God has been teaching me SO much about this topic this year. I think it was His project for me this year. For 2011 God is teaching me what it looks like to completely, 100% trust HIM with my entire life. Every area, every idea, every dream, every moment in every day.
    He's had to bring me through some very low valleys to get there {sometimes it takes a lot to get through to me} but I'm so thankful to Him for giving me another day and for bearing with me in my stubbornness as I try and cling to these idols of my heart.

    Loved this post.
    Thank you for being so open. I love that.
    This was SO encouraging to my soul.

  3. Megan, this was the idol revealed to me by the Holy Spirit last Sunday. Thank you for putting what are also my thoughts into words!

  4. I love this. I find it interesting because I have been praying for more of the Spirits gift of self-control in my life because I have been quite gluttonous the last year... I really came to a point where I knew that only GOD could get me through the day without binging and His grace has been a living miracle thus far. But when I try to control this particular area (just like every other area) I find that nothing but more weight gain and more unhappiness about how I feel comes. The LORD truly desires us 100% and only through his strength can we ever fully surrender our lives. I pray to be surrendered completely some day...


  5. this is such a convicting entry. so many things are good but not ultimate and we make them idols. thanks for posting. :) x

  6. Love this. I battle with exactly the same things you mentioned above. Except the baby...only because I don't have one yet. Look out future child! So thankful for God's grace and His constant reminders that His plan is better than our own...