Friday, December 31, 2010

The truth is... I have had some frustrating thoughts today. I know what some of you will say if you read this, duh megan you're a new mom, i feel the same way, get a clue megan that's how life is now that you have a baby. But hear me out. I'm going through this for the first time & I am learning from the Lord and being sanctified by the Holy Spirit. Yesterday, my truly amazing husband had the day off. Hallelujah! He had the job of putting our sweet little one to bed as I had a meeting at our house. He shushed her and bounced her and she slept for three hours. He banged dishes, vacuumed, and put away clothes in our room. She then slept again after we went out to lunch for another THREE hours. It was so amazing. Today, with my sweet husband gone, I attempt to put her to sleep as he had. I love gleaning from him and his sweet daddy nature. I pray to be humble as I learn from him how to put her down. That my half hour of rocking that results in baby waking up three minutes later, might not be the best approach.

But, she doesn't cooperate. As of right now 12:11pm on this lovely New Years Eve day, she is asleep. But, for how long? I shushed her and bounced her and layed her down over an hour ago. But she has already woken up three times. So I shushed and bounced three more times...

I came out to my living room to read my bible on the third try. That was about 15 mins ago, and I prayed for 20. So.. Haha, Lord you have a humorous side. She just squealed in her bedroom. Hmm... is the little one awake?

If I could only get to the point. I came out here and knew exactly where to read in the Word. Galatians 5. Walk by the Spirit. Hm... As I read that familiar passage, I realized that I hadn't been. I need to. If I am going to survive these days of constant toil of putting precious baby back in and out of her crib, I need to walk by the Holy Spirit.

I realized, I need to be thankful. I'll finish the thankfulness part later, as my sweet baby just woke up :)

thank you.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

thank you Jesus for-
-an hour and a half of quiet so that I could hear Pastor Chris' sermon from last week.
-friends who are willing to help me in this crazy new stage.
-an amazing mom who is so incredibly selfless & has taught me what it means to be a daughter of the King, a wife, and a mom.
-a sweet baby, after re-reading the chapter in Feminine Appeal (an amazing book by Carolyn Mahaney) about loving your children... I realize that I need to treat Siena Joy as a heritage and blessing from the Lord in all times, even the hard times when it feels like a burden.
-this home to live in.
-my sweet husband who selflessly serves me, stays home when I need him, and loves me unconditionally.
-your word. I cannot get through the day without it. it brings peace & joy like nothing else can.
-my Church family. what a great joy we are experiencing being a part of the body of Christ. nothing compares with the amazing relationships that he gives us, within our small expression of church and the larger Church :)
-Most of all, what I need to focus on for the next week. Being thankful that you came. You came to this earth as a baby, lived a perfect life, were hung on a cross, were buried, and rose from the dead. All of this to save this sinful people from their unrighteousness. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus.

Siena Joy - Part 1

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Six and a half weeks in and I cannot believe it. Time is sort of in a weird slow, fast, fast, slow mentality. I've wanted to write since she was born, but in reality I didn't feel capable until now. I'll start at the beginning, post what I get done and probably have to do some part 2, part 3 action.

October 16th, 2010 was my mom's 49th birthday. We planned on dinner out and a movie at our apartment to celebrate. That day Chris was off and so we walked over to the local coffee shop and had Jesus and marriage time. It really was glorious. We sat down with our coffee & me with my pastries... at that time there was no moment without food (who am I kidding, that time is now as well) and Chris said something that I did not believe at the time. Megan, I think it's going to be today. He then told me that two of his good friends texted him that morning telling him that they were praying for him & us. Along with those friends, the woman who owned the coffee shop also talked to us when we got there about wondering when I was due and saying that she had dreamed about us the night before. To be honest, that was a little weird... but I guess ok as we were her first customers ever at her coffee shop. We made our way home and I started having contractions around 1:30. I layed in bed for awhile, not wanting to move. I started timing them and they lasted a little while but weren't consistent.

My mom came over around 5 and they continued to get more intense. We decided to drive to The Rock to have her birthday dinner. If you know where we live in comparison to the restaurant you would realize that this is ridiculous. It is super close... but I didn't think I could make it. I had contractions while at dinner and was timing them with my Iphone, having to look away as the waitress came because I was in so much pain. Leaving the restaurant I had to sit down on a bench while Chris got the car. They lasted through the movie at our apartment and as my mom left we promised to call if we went to the hospital.

It was 2:30 in the morning and for the last four hours I had gone to the bathroom so often to make the pain less intense that I was finally in too much pain to bear it. I told Chris and had him call the hospital. They had us come in but I wasn't dilated at all so they sent us home. That was SO frustrating as we didn't want to go home without our baby. They gave me medicine that was supposed to help me sleep. I took the medicine but for about three hours the contractions became worse and worse. No sleeping happened. We called again and told them how they had changed. By this point, I could barely stand and change my clothes. We had to stop on our way from the car to the elevator and I held on to Chris while in horrendous pain. They checked me out and I was dilated to a 5. Most of this time I do not even remember but I think that is God's way of loving me :). Because I was dilated to a 5 they told me we were going to have our baby! I was wheeled in to the labor and delivery room and I don't remember much of this either. I remember starting to have bad back labor and was so happy when the anesthesiologist came and gave me my epidural. It was a huge relief. I labored until 1:40 when my midwife told us we were dilated to a 9.9 and it was about time to start pushing. At 2:31 pm, Siena Joy was born!

The biggest thing I learned during this was how the Lord can carry us through anything. I was so anxious and worried about labor and birth, thinking that I was going to have a horror story to tell people about afterwards. God blessed my prayers and thoughts more than I ever imagined. He was with us every step of the way. The whole process wasn't easy but it was not like I'd imagined. I had a baby and my life was forever changed.

*These pictures are done by my amazing friend Heidi Dean.