Baby Knight Part 2

Saturday, April 3, 2010

So... I was told that you may want to hear the rest of the story. Chris and I have been going through a process of seeing the Lord's desire for our lives and seeing that translate into our own desires. We began this process in November and three months later decided that we really wanted a baby. This does not mean that we think we are by any means ready for a baby... I remember a time either right before or after Chris and I got engaged. We were talking to Darren about how we are supposed to "know" when we are ready for marriage. He looked at us and said, "You are never ready for marriage." Jesus shows us humbleness when we realize we will never be ready or have arrived at the place of being a perfect spouse or in this case a perfect parent. Well, for the Knights... it didn't take long for this to happen. I think we decided to try to get pregnant and we were basically the next week. I had been feeling sick for about two weeks. One example of this was driving to work one morning I got an overwhelming feeling that I was going to throw up. I had to completely turn off the music, turn off the heat, and drive with a hand over my face on the freeway. Praise Jesus that I didn't actually throw up all over my clothes...

The night of our 6month anniversary came around the corner and I got off work and decided to go on a 5 mile run. Chris and I were meeting in Bellevue for dinner so I had just enough time to run and come back and shower. I got home though and had a conversation with Christina about things that were going on and I finally brought up how I was feeling. She said, "Megs... just take the test!" So I did. I have never been so anxious in my life. I was waiting and waiting. I'm going to be completely honest here. At that moment I was wondering are we ready for this, do I want this, YES I want this, are you sure you want this... knowing that if there weren't two lines I would be sad. But... THERE WERE TWO LINES! I didn't know what to do with myself... I showered, got dressed, put make up on... all in about 8mins. I was like a giddy 7th grader who liked her first boy. I drove up to Bellevue after putting the pregnancy test in a plastic baggie & into my purse. Chris got to the restaurant and had a gift for me. I told him that I had a gift for him too. He had me open mine, which was amazing! Then I pulled his out and he looked at me shocked. Is this real....??? Yes! The comical thing in the story is that the lines were quite faint (something that I have read is actually normal). So we got home and he made me go to target and buy a different brand of test which turned out to be positive but the faint lines were still there. I did get a pregnancy test at the doctor (positive) and blood work (positive) and an ultrasound (little Baby Knight's heartbeat:)

The whole thing is crazy! We are so excited. Really really excited. But occasionally it is hard to be really excited. Now more than ever I have heard everyone's opinion on everything. The thing is... I do care about people's opinions but when they are so negative, it makes it hard to be happy. I am really asking the Lord for patience and peace with our decisions. It does get hard to hear certain comments about how early we are doing this, the validity of the pregnancy, what we are choosing for me to do after the baby is born etc... But the thing that I am realizing: My identity is in the Lord. No one else. We have prayed and asked for guidance and are feeling really secure in our decisions for our family & that is EXCITING!