Intercede.

I have no doubt that Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me now. Are you familiar with that verse? God says, "I know the plans I have for you! Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

We have been full time support raising six months now, for some that is short and others it is long. For me I think it has been just about right. God has used it to really sanctify and strengthen my faith. If you're new or you just didn't know - my little family is a missionary family. We are headed down to work with a church at San Diego State University. My husband and I met through doing campus ministry at Washington State University while we were in college and that is how God called us to uproot our lives and move to California.

When Chris brought this opportunity to me, I looked at him as if he were crazy and said there is no way we are moving to California. This was not a high point in my time of learning what it means to be a respectful wife but quickly afterward the Lord softened my heart and we decided to pray about what the Lord would have us do. In hindsight it is not surprising that God told us to move. My stubborn will for my own selfish desires came out in my response but when the Lord had his way it turned into something beautiful.

Chris and I have experienced a few difficulties in the first few years of marriage. Among those are an STD which we talked about here and a miscarriage just a little over two months ago. We feel like we are called to be transparent not because we want to fly our sinful or it's all about us flag. The real reason is because we know that people are struggling with things just like these. If you didn't know SDSU's nickname is STDSU. This is because it has the highest amount of people with sexually transmitted diseases in the country per capita. I pray that we are able to use the shame, bitterness, and pain that we have felt and turn it into something that glorifies God but speaking out about how we have come to this place and how others can walk a higher road.

Now that you know a little more about why we are heading down (hopefully in 4 WEEKS!!!!!) to San Diego would you please intercede for us and take our ministry to the Lord? We are 5% (which breaks down to $250 in monthly gifts) away from being fully funded in our ministry! Please pray that our hearts would be aligned with his and that our final support would come in so that we are able to move down in March.

I truly covet your prayers,

P.S. If you know anyone who may want to give to our ministry this is the website:
http://www.gcmweb.org/getinvolved/Give.aspx
& type in Chris Knight.

Be Transformed

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

An hour maybe (or two if I am really disciplined one day) if I get up before Siena.
A few moments here and there that Siena plays independently.
Two to three hours during nap time.
A few moments here and there that Siena plays independently.
Three to four hours after she goes to bed.

Combine all of that and you have six to nine hours of free time each and every day.
Of course you have dishes, cleaning, laundry, preparation for meals, household duties. Maybe you go to a job and your life looks quite different. But all I am here to say is that my perspective is changed. I have six to nine hours a day and what do I do with it?

I get my family fed, bathed, and well rested. I get my room spic and span. I get the to do list checked.

But do I stand in awe of my Creator?
Do I sit and read His word as if it is actually Him speaking directly to me?
Am I falling more in love with the one that I am going to spend eternity praising?

Or am I hopping on Facebook once again just to see the updates and new photos, status updates, comments...


Am I taking a minute to peruse Pinterest and make sure that I've got all the new things repinned to make my home in San Diego look like it just came straight off of that website? 


Am I reading about others lives more than I am sitting and thanking God for my own? 


I pray that we would begin to be a people who is transformed by the renewal of our minds through scripture. I pray that we would not be conformed to this world. I pray that interests and hobbies would not take the place of a love and an awe so deep of the immense love that Jesus has for us.

I challenge you to take one of those hours that you usually use toward a hobby or interest for self gain and spend it totally wrapped up in the arms of Jesus. If you need direction, Chris and I just watched this sermon (truly great for anyone even though it says a marriage conference) by Francis Chan.

This post in no way is meant to condemn you, but to lead you out of yourself and into the light of the one who made you.

Driving today I had this thought - Wow Lord, thank you for today. Thank you for your will. Thank you that I am thinking about you. What that would look like to spend my days never thinking of you. How that must sadden your heart. As it would break mine if Siena never thought again about her mama.

lesson for ME

Typically Monday nights are full of bible study at my in laws, some yummy dessert, and SJ entertaining all of the friends and family. Last night was not an exception and after twenty minutes rolling around on the ground, walking, and screaming HI!!! at everyone my sweet girl dressed only in a diaper was ready for bed. I took her into our suite to get her ready for bed, changed her, read her stories, sang Jesus Loves Me and In Christ Alone,  and prayed for her. I laid her down and shut the door. Normally, after we lay her down little noises and conversation with Kitty begin to happen until she lulls herself off to sleep. I waited to hear these outside the door but was left with only silence.

Somewhere in between the lyrics of those songs I sang my babe and this moment - the enemy crept in. My head began to be filled with nonsence and lies about what might happen to my precious Joyful Noise. I felt stuck as if my feet were deep in concrete and my chest felt tight. I just couldn't leave. Probably about a minute into this spiral I felt the Lord nudging me to trust Him and to leave the room and get back to bible study. That is of course what I did but it definitely didn't change the way that I was feeling.

I got into bed that night and began to pray that the Lord would calm my soul and help me to know that Siena was in his care. I also had Chris pray for me because I hadn't felt such deep insecurity, fear, and anxiety in quite awhile. I'm unsure of all of the reasons - but I tossed and turned all night long. At 1am I heard Siena say in a concerned voice, "Up Pease Mama." I went right in (thinking that she would be laying down as she had before when sick and I would rub her back) and she was standing up. This kind of made me feel unnerved and so I picked her and Kitty up and brought her into bed. She laid on my chest and I rocked her for twenty minutes but not once did her eyes close. I put her back to bed after trying to comfort her the best I could and continued to barely sleep the rest of the night.

Right before getting her dressed for bed tonight she noticed my bible sitting on the bed next to us. She kept saying bible so I opened it up and began to read it to her. The place that I turned was Psalm 91.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and a buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

I read that to her and began to explain to her that she should not fear the terror of the night. That Jesus will protect her and that if she wakes up she can remember that and lay back down. Although I know that she is young I am trying to already have advanced conversations (even if she doesn't understand) with her so that they become routine for us. About ten minutes later I was sitting in my bed with my bible reading the Psalm again. I realized that although I may have begun to teach Siena this lesson, the Lord was also teaching me.

I need to dwell in the shelter of the Most High.
I need to abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I need to say to the Lord that he is my refuge and my fortress and that I trust him!


Only then will I not fear, only then will I not listen to and be overcome by what could happen, only then will I find peace. And only then will the lyrics of the sweet song I had sung Siena ring true in my soul.

No guilt in life, 
no fear in death,
this is the power of CHRIST in me. 

P.S. Here is our love bug on Valentine's Day!

Transparent.

We have been having BEAUTIFUL days here in Seattle. The blue sky, sun, and breezy wind have been an exceptional addition to the week. Just today I took the girls to the park and we played ... it sure doesn't feel like February. But I will take it!

This weekend was my sweet friend Shelby's birthday! We had a fun night of happy hour at Matador (some amazing carne asada nachos!!) and some yummy frozen yogurt. I love you Shelbs! Happy 26!!

Our family has been busy with support appointments and our support is coming in all the time! Praise the Lord. Just the other day we reached 77% in our support goal, please pray that we would reach 90% at the end of the month!

Something that Chris and I hold as a high conviction is being very transparent in our lives. That's probably why you have seen things, heard things, read things on here that other people may not always talk about. We think that change happens when we are in close community - opening our lives up for others and being honest. We desire to be that way always and to allow people to see our sin, our desire to repent, and our walks with Jesus.

Here is a little video that we took on the way back from a support apt on Saturday. It is an example of the transparency that I was talking about. Not many people feel comfortable talking about those things... but they are a part of our lives.


**Chris meant to say 2007! We got married in 2009 :)

Enjoy your Monday!

Wisdom & Love

 So, every time I try to post anything today it gets deleted. Here is my first video attempt because well, it was easier, faster, and on my heart. Would you do me a favor? Please post a comment if the video works!

Excited to hear from you!
Blessings, Megan