Day 7

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Good morning. It's not sunny outside but I am feeling accomplished and joyful despite our circumstances. I feel a desire to write as each day I read this book it relates to what I am going through. I've done the dishes, cleaned the kitchen floor, tidied the living room, and then sat down to read. But none of this really matters even though I've checked it off my "list". We have a more pressing item in our lives. Chris continues to feel sick each day. It has progressed to him feeling ill deep in his core and stomach. He finally had his phone appointment today with the doctor and she said she doesn't know anything more. His iron level is low and he has weird enzymes on his liver. This sound familiar to my host of doctor readers?

So... with that she is referring us to internal medicine. He has ultrasounds this Friday and an appointment with the doctor at internal medicine next Wednesday. I asked my sweet husband if he was scared and he said, "no... bummed."

Am I scared? If I sit here and think about it too long, yes. Yes I am. I am so tired of seeing my poor husband shivering on the couch wrapped up in both of our coug blankets. I am tired of seeing him take medicine every 4 hours to control his fevers. I am tired of him barely eating what I make for dinner because he has no appetite. I am tired of him not wanting to take anything for lunch because nothing ever sounds good. I am tired of him being so sick that coffee would make him nauseous and so I don't get to make it for him each night like I always did. I am tired of our relationships being different in this home because he is so tired. I am tired of so many things.

But that is not the point.
And I know it.

I don't know the point yet. Maybe I never will. Maybe this will turn out to be nothing & he will be better tomorrow. Maybe it will turn into something that will change our lives forever. I don't know.

But I know the one who does know.
Do you?

Today's section in the book is so fitting. It is about hoping in Christ. At this moment and at all moments that is all we have to lean on. Or it should be.

I will leave you with a lengthy excerpt from the book because I love it and I cannot write as well as she can. It is so worth reading.

One chilly morning in December 1982 as I was returning home from a walk along the beach, I came to the end of myself. Nothing made sense anymore. I sat down right where I was and sobbed.

"God," I cried out, "who are you? Do you care anything about me? I feel hopeless. I've tried to find you. I want to know you."

Seconds passed. Then, ever so gently, a stream of familiar words came to mind: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". I had read these words of Jesus Christ in John's gospel (14:6) dozens of times. Why did they sound so different now? I wondered. Then I knew. I had never let them in before. I had never heard them for myself.

That winter day I did hear them - for me. I jumped up. "Jesus Christ is the way to God!" I shouted to the waves and sky. And to think I almost missed him! Here was the hope I had been looking for. No higher power, life force, or spiritual guide had offered me such assurance. "O God, thank you for your Son, Jesus," I whispered.

Everything was new in that moment. I was no longer a victim of my husband's actions against me. All have sinned and all fall short of the glory of God. That included me. I had known that from Paul's teaching (Romans 3:23) but until today I had never taken it to heart. No wonder I had not fully received this gift before. I had not seen myself as a sinner because I was too preoccupied with the sins others had committed against me. But that day I knew I needed forgiveness as much as anyone else. How grateful I was to know from my own experience that Christ did not come for the righteous but for sinners to repent. I was a sinner, and I prayed that day for forgiveness as I put my hope and trust in Christ as my Savior.

JOB Day 7- Have you received Christ's gift? If so, write down why you are thankful for it. If you haven't, write down where you are on your journey toward Christ.

**If you desire to cultivate a heart of thankfulness & are willing to try it for 31 days (give or take - there is always grace here) - post a comment during any of my blogs that relate to thankfulness.
I will send you a gift at the end to show my thankfulness for you. If you are curious what the JOB is read my post here.


  1. I am SO sorry to hear about your husband's unexplained illness! I hate to say it but, I am oddly in a very similar boat right now so perhaps divine providence led you to my blog which in turn led me back to yours?? never knows for sure. My husband has been dealing with some of the oddest health issues for over a year and a half now. It's a long story and rather hard to explain in a comment but, it has been a growing season for me spiritually like none other. I feel for you, I feel for your husband and for your daughter. Everything seems out of balance when our loved one is sick. Somehow in that though we have to try and find a balance and keep life moving and keep seizing the joy that only God can give us. Somehow we have to live life to the fullest even in these rough seasons with our sick hubbys because this may be it. I often wonder if my hubby will be sick and down for the rest of our lives?? I can only live my life in such a way to honor the king and serve my husband come what may! I'll be praying for you both!! I pray for healing for your hubby and mine!

  2. Casey-

    Thank you SO much! I appreciate your prayers... I am so sorry to hear that you are going through things with your husbands health. I will be praying for your family. As far as it goes right now I think that what Chris had was a strong virus. We have to continue to meet with doctors in the next few weeks but he is starting to feel better. I totally agree about the Lord leading us to each other. I found your blog through Jhen Stark and was totally surprised when both of you started following me... I don't feel worthy :)

    I'm excited to continue to follow your blog & life, and will be praying for you guys!