The Joy that You Bring

Honestly, this morning I am torn. Torn between collapsing under the weight of weeks of sickness and exhaustion and turning from that and rejoicing in the Lord and the things he has done. I know what I need to do. But it's not that simple. I have a list of wants in my head that I can't stop thinking about.
-My husband back to normal/cooking us breakfast on days off/helping with chores/kissing me when he walks in the door
-My baby to give me back the 8hours of sleep that I was getting/not being sick
-Energy & the desire to go out and run
I prayed a short prayer this morning after having been up with Siena two times in the night and with Chris for about an hour. Lord, please help me yield to your Spirit. I do not want to have ugliness, pride, selfishness, and greed flow from my heart. I want patience, love, joy, and peace to flow from you into my life. I got out of bed shortly after that to get a shower in - which is a luxury that isn't happening as much when I am taking care of other people constantly. I know. Gross. But other things have been going ahead of my personal hygiene. What I realized was the Lord ordains everything. Even the fact that I am reading this book. When my mom gave it to me - it was not intended for me. Everything was going right & everything had been easy for a few weeks. Everyone was healthy. Siena was sleeping through the night. I had a schedule. I could make Chris breakfast again, make his coffee, and send him out the door with a lunch in his bag. All after having a quiet time & spending time on my blog. Wow. Those were some happy go lucky weeks. What I realize now, is that the Lord knew that those weren't going to last forever. He knew that a time of testing of faith and trial was about to begin. So he gave me this book for a specific reason - that turned out to be completely different than what I had intended. What a sweet sweet Savior we have. Lately I have been a part of a few conversations where we talk about trials and hardship. We have all agreed that those times and seasons in our lives are the ones that the Lord brings greater growth and sanctification. They are not fun. They are not easy. But the have a greater purpose. Now I just need to remind myself of that daily. Day 5 was about God's creation. I'll be honest. While reading this... I was not in the mindset of seeing beauty in God's creation. I was in the mindset of hurry and get your quiet time done before you need to get Siena up and fed. But what she said is so true. Look around. Look at the leaves on the tree, the rain coming down out of the clouds, the high mountain capped with snow. They are so beautiful and they show God's presence. Romans 1 says that everyone is without excuse when it comes to seeing and understanding him. He reveals himself through his creation. I love times of getting out of the city and into the country, hills, and mountains. It brings you back to simplicity and the sweetness of the outdoors, his presence is everywhere. But, this doesn't happen easily for everyone. Where have you neglected seeing God in his creation?

JOB Day 5- Consider the gift in creation that you most notice God and write down your gratitude for that gift


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**If you desire to cultivate a heart of thankfulness & are willing to try it for 31 days (give or take - there is always grace here) - post a comment during any of my blogs that relate to thankfulness.
I will send you a gift at the end to show my thankfulness for you. If you are curious what the JOB is read my post here.