Sunday, December 18, 2011

There is a peace that surpasses all understanding. It protects your heart, guides your thoughts, and enables freedom. It draws you away from yourself and your own desires and into the perfect plan of the Father. Today, I have experienced this peace unlike any other time in my life.

Today I found out that I miscarried after six and a half weeks of pregnancy. I spent a few hours in the Emergency Room after getting some advice from a doctor. Circumstantially it should have been quite a cruddy day. I was experiencing the first regular signs of miscarriage for about the last 24 hours, lots of abdominal cramping, swelling, being poked and prodded multiple times for an IV, two ultrasounds, hospital smells, tests, and shots.

I won't lie and say that these last two days have been fun. But I will tell you about the peace I am experiencing and where it comes from.

It isn't coincidence that this week I had been meditating on Psalm 34. It is full of exactly what I needed in these moments and I turned to it quite a bit. If you've read it and remember you will know what I am talking about.

I will bless the LORD at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt his name together!
I sought the LORD, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
What man is there who desires life
and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking deceit.
Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.
The face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
Affliction will slay the wicked,
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD redeems the life of his servants;
none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

(Psalm 34 ESV)

I LOVE THIS! I could sit in one of those verses for days. Even though this is hard, hurts (emotionally and physically), and doesn't feel fun I am experiencing what that first verse says. Bless the Lord at ALL times. He will deliver me from my fears, he will not let me be ashamed, he will be near to me, he will save me, he will deliver me, and he redeems me. That is where the peace lies. In Jesus. Only in Jesus. In his life and it's perfection, in his death and how it saves us, and in his resurrection showing that he can't be held by death - we are given peace, knowing that HE accomplished it all because we can't. We can't do anything but HE does everything.

Can I get a HALLELUJAH!?

Not only has this strengthened my faith but it has strengthened my marriage. My husband has served me selflessly in these last two days. He has done everything for Siena and I, been so loving and has relied on the Lord. Right now he is memorizing the book of Philippians. He has been speaking it to me all day long. I don't find this a coincidence either.

What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.
Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
(Philippians 1:18-21 ESV)



  1. Oh Megan, I'm sorry. Praying for you.

  2. Beautiful entry about how present God is in brokenness. I am sorry for the loss. :(

  3. Megan and Chris, I am so sorry to hear about your baby's passing :-(
    This post resinated so much with me and out experience. That peace and even joy that God brings in the midst of sorrow is so hard to even explain- because it doesn't come from us, but from God.
    We love you guys and will be keepin you in our prayers.
    Our heart felt sympathy go out to you right now.

  4. Praying for you Megan! You are a strong and faithful woman! The Lord is working in your life and in your heart, even in the midst of a difficult time, and that is such a testimony :)

  5. Thank you for your heartfelt words, Megan. By experiencing this a couple of months ago, my heart is right beside yours on this one. His grace is sufficient. Praying for your family.

  6. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

    Your faith and strength during this time is truly remarkable and inspiring. God is so GOOD.

  7. Your faith is so beautiful, Megan. He is so honored & glorified by your humility & devotion to him.

    This is really tragic & painful. It's so inspiring to see how you're turning to Him in it though.

    Much love,
    Hannah Wilson

  8. I'm so sorry for your loss, Knight family!

    Your post is beautifully written, Megan! I'm so glad that He is giving you peace. I will be praying for you, my friend.

    Love, Liz

  9. Megan, this is beautiful. Thank you for being so brave in sharing.

    And, yes, you can definitely get a HALLELUJAH from this corner of King county.


    1. Thank you Jess!! I really appreciate that! I just started following your blog - didn't know you had one!