Happy 4th!

Well, the Knight family is almost off to a small town in Eastern Washington for the 4th. Chris' family has a cabin there and truly it is a very small town. But, the biggest weekend for them is the 4th. Somehow people found out about the little city on two small lakes and love to come over for this holiday weekend.

There will be a little coffee shop and I think they have wireless... so I may be updating my blog while I'm away. But if not, I will surely be taking photos so you can experience the part of Washington many people prefer to stay away from ;).

I hope that y'all (because Jessi gave me permission!) enjoy freedom, family, and food this weekend!

wrapped in a handkerchief?

Hey Y'all.

No, I'm not southern. But seriously I wish I could say Y'all without it sounding weird.
I can't believe it's been about a week since I've come around here. That's what happens with a move, a little KB reunion, two dr. visits for the babe, a baby shower (not for me!), sleep training #2, massive teething, and the rest of life's daily occurrences.

Here is a little glimpse of my babe this week.

I wanted to share a little piece of our sermon this week that I felt like was really worth chewing on.

Pastor Mark preached a sermon on investing out of Luke 19:11-27 yesterday. He talked about how Jesus is a King and he reigns over the Kingdom of God. In God's Kingdom - people are loved, God is honored, and life is valued. Doesn't that sound amazing?

He also explained that God gives each of us talents, time, treasures, and we are to make a good return with what he gives to us. We will receive varying degrees of reward based on how we invest our life. This does NOT mean that we believe in a works based gospel. But your faith in Jesus to cover your sins is shown by a changed life, desire, and motive.

Pastor Mark exhorted us to not waste our lives. To use what God has given us for his glory!

So, through the parable of the ten minas, a nobleman gave large sums of money to ten servants and told them to engage in business until he came back. One man made ten more minas, one made five more, and one hid the mina in a handkerchief and made nothing.

So the question is, what am I hiding in a handkerchief that the Lord wants to bless, grow, expand, and use for his glory?

I could be hiding

-bible reading

-prayer

-fellowship

-some talent that he has given

-friendship

-marriage

-parenting

-evangelism

-worship

-money

-time management

inside my handkerchief.

But I don't want to. I want to figure out what I'm hiding and take it out. To allow the Lord to mold, shape, and transform me in that area. So that I'm not wasting my life. So that I'm glorifying Him in ALL I do.

What are you hiding in your handkerchief?

lift up your eyes.

In one of his books, CS Lewis talks about how so often we are content with swimming in a mud puddle when God has a huge ocean ready for our enjoyment. We become fine with sin and icky, muddy waters when we can have clear, Jesus filled, beautiful blue water to enjoy.

I had an experience this weekend that really made me think of this verse. My mom lovingly took Siena (while teething!) on Friday night so that Chris and I could go to an event without her. The next morning we got to sleep in (8:30 - really sleeping in for us!), grabbed McDonalds for breakfast (which he NEVER gives in to!) and then headed over to North Bend to little Mt. Si for a morning hike.

We were about fifteen minutes into the hike when I told Chris to stop. I had realized something. Below my feet was wet, muddy, slippery, rock filled trails. When I was no longer concerned with tripping into the ick, I looked up and was struck by the glorious sight. We were in a beautiful forest. The green of the trees was so bright and the rain coming down made everything so fresh. I was so worried about taking the right step that for the first part of the hike I didn't even look at where we were headed. If I had continued that way for the entire hike I never would have taken in God's creation and the moment that he created for me to take it all in.

When I think about my life, it is a little like this trail. I get too focused on the mucky, dirty, bumpy trail. The hardships and the sin get overwhelming and that is all that I can concentrate on.

But when you lift up your eyes.
My, it's a pretty sight.

Jesus is glorious. Even more glorious than those trees. His scripture is life-giving like the oxygen that comes from the leaves. His presence is fresh and new each time you meet with him.

Why do we keep our eyes on the deep depravity of sin when we can lift our eyes and gaze upon the rich beauty of our Lord?

This is my goal.

8 months!

dear siena,

hi baby doll. you are a light in my life that gets brighter every day.

i am beyond thankful for your bright blue eyes and your chubby little baby legs.
you are now eight months old and i cannot believe it. you're beautiful. stunning actually. with huge eyes just like your mama.

you sit up all by yourself. you get up on all fours and rock back and forth. you want to crawl! you eat tons of food. you just cut your second tooth but really the first because the other one went back.

i love you. SO much.

you gave me the sweetest gift this month. i mean - THE sweetest. you hug me now. i pick you up and you cuddle your little body against mine. you snuggle your head into my shoulder. it lights up my world. it doesn't matter what i need to do. i would sit there with you like that for hours. sometimes you do it for a few minutes. ah. i love it.

you love your baby doll. you get excited to hold her. someday you will make a great mama.

you love kitty cats. especially james dean. you love his fur and you laugh when he walks by you. you drag your little fingers against his fur and get so excited.

your little face lights up when your daddy gets home and sings you your favorite tune.
siena joy - we love you sweetie pie. even when you cut teeth and are miserable.
love you so.
mama

oh hey. it's me.

So, a few things.

1. We sold some of our furniture. This included our TV stand. We unplugged all the internet cables & then couldn't put them back together to restore our internet.
2. #1 resulted in #2 which is not blogging all week. For this I am sorry.
3. We moved today. Wow. Let me just tell you... There is a TON going on in our lives. I will share as I can and right now I really can't say much except that we moved. Our lease is up on Wednesday but 99.9% of our stuff is out of the house. We are being hosted by amazing friends of ours that we love and are excited to spend more quality time with.

4. Oh and we move again in 5 weeks. To another family's house that we love. Isn't this interesting story getting more interesting by the moment? Just wait for the juicy details that will ensue, I am excited.

5. We are trying out the all three sleep in one room tonight for the first time in four months, say a little prayer, won't you?

6. We have been doing a lot of these things that we've never done before...

Taking a liking to our paci!

Sitting up all by ourself (in the sweater Grandma Jean made)!

Holding our own bottle!

Miss you,

Control.

Control.
Control the amount of sleep your daughter gets.
Control the way your body looks.
Control the sound of your husband's activity.
Control the people around you so you stay happy.
Control the food that goes in your mouth.
Control the friends that you've been blessed with.
Control the ministry that is a gift.
Control the blog that you've started.
Control the relationship you have with the Lord.
Control the amount of anger you feel.
Control the way people look at you.
Control the cleanliness of your house.
Control the _______________.
Control.

The lovely golden idol I have crafted is beautiful on the outside. My daughter gets good sleep. My body is healthy. My ministry is thriving. My emotions are contained. My marriage is normal. My relationships are good.

The deceitful, shiny, fake God that I have created is not beautiful.
This is the truth.

I desire to control everything.
I try my best to control everything.
I manipulate others to get my way.

and when I don't -
all chaos brakes lose.
anxiety comes crashing down on me in an instant like a ton of bricks.
i cry.
my family is mistreated.
my friends are neglected.
my husband is torn in bits.
i'm exhausted by the constant juggling of the 1,000 things.
my joy cannot be found within this sparkly idol of control.

So I cry out to Him who is my JOY.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all the day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,"
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Therefore let everyone who is godly offer
prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like the horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy , all you upright in heart.
Psalm 32

Praise the Lord!