I am

I'm sure you are able to understand how life gets so crazy real fast. Your firstborn turns one. The leaves start changing. The holidays are coming. Your family is now a missionary family...

Well, maybe you don't understand all of that. But I am sure that you understand busyness and that is what we have going on in the Knight family.

Sometimes busyness is selfish, only producing what we desire. Other times I think that the Lord wants us to have full plates if we are hearing from Him and putting Him first. Learning this is sometimes a difficult task. I really desire to be busy for Jesus but I can easily backslide into tasks for myself; forgetting the best things that he has desired that I spend my time doing.

Some examples,
-I love organization but cannot seem to stay organized. I love neat, tidy, picked up spaces - but NOTHING in my life has been able to stay this way. There is a balance between laziness and obsession with order... but how do I find it?
-I've struggled in the past with filling my time up with friends and activities because I want to hide from the work that I should be doing at home - the work that is not so fun. There is a balance between having fun and working at home - how do I figure that out?
-I want to be the super mom - especially when it comes to planning a first birthday for my daughter. There is a balance between not having a celebration and going nutso with every little detail - but what does that mean?
-I want to be an amazing writer but feel so inadequate. There is a balance between desiring 50,000 followers and not even trying - who shows us how to do that??

I think that the answer is to spend time with Jesus. Ask Him these questions. What do you desire with my time Lord? When do you want me to wake up? What do I need to change in my life? How do I live a balanced life? How do I love you with an ever-increasing abundant and joyful love? What I have found is that he will tell you! It may not be verbal but he will definitely show himself to you in His word. He will answer your questions. He will guide your feet. He will pick you up when you fall.

My biggest lesson in these last few weeks is I am/I am not; I'll show you what I mean.

I am not:
-A baker (my treats may not look perfect)
-A party planner (my party may not be featured on pinterest)
-A designer (my clothes and style may not be quality for Real Simple)
-A photographer (my pictures may not ever have amazing quality)
-A graphic artist (my photoshop images may never generate profit)
-A five star chef (my food may never be the best)
-A writer (my blog may never have 50,000 followers)
-A perfect wife (I will still get angry and sin against my husband)
-A patient mama (I will still get frustrated with my beautiful girl)

I AM:
-A child of the most high God
-Saved by Jesus
-Indwelled with the Holy Spirit
-Redeemed from the chains of sin

My challenge is to live in light of who I AM, who God has created me to be. That means I am a Christ follower! If I focus on all the things I am not I will be pushed into despair. No, I am not the best at all those things. But is that what I am defined by? No. I am defined by what Christ did on the cross. That is all that matters.

Will you live in light of your identity in Christ?